ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with anxiety for years now. As those who experience anxiety know, it ebbs and flows depending on a plethora of factors both in and out of my control. My anxious thoughts stem from a childhood with many unexpected and uncontrollable changes. As a result, feeling unsure or not being able to predict what's ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out my friend is dating a guy I slept with a couple of years ago back in college. None of my friends knew; it was a one-night stand, and I was too ashamed to tell them a secret that I thought would never resurface. Now, two years later, one of my best friends is seriously dating the guy. They've been going steady for...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a gay man who's been in a relationship for two and a half years. My partner is definitely a great match for me. He recently asked to meet my parents, expressing his desire to get to know my family and roots a little more. I appreciate his interest in my background, as I think it indicates that we are moving onto the next ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my sister hates me. I'm in college right now, and my sister just finished her freshman year of high school. When I was away from home, she made new friends and started getting into trouble. A few months ago, she ran out of a gas station with a case of alcohol and was chased by the police. Luckily, the cops felt bad ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently was in a relationship with a boy who was never officially my boyfriend. However, we went on dates almost every week and often hung out. We progressed like this for three months until he went radio silent. I was hurt at first, especially since he made it seem like he wanted more. My friends even thought that he was more...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend booked a trip, and she's going to be gone on my birthday. I have been planning my 30th birthday for four months; I put so much time and effort into planning it, and she won't be attending. We've been friends for eight years, and I just assumed that she was going to be there. I asked her why she scheduled her ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I found out that my fiance recently went to his ex-girlfriend's birthday party, and he didn't tell me. My fiance and I have been dating for three years and have been engaged for six months, but I can tell it's been hard for him to fully let go of his ex because they dated for eight years. Part of me wants to understand where he's...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is moving to rural Vietnam for a year to teach English, and I don't think this is a good idea. My brother can't stick to any commitment to save his life, and this experience doesn't seem like it is likely to go any differently. He gets excited about new opportunities all the time, but once the excitement wears off, he ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my childhood friends and his wife moved to my city about a year ago. While I've known him forever, I've grown much closer to his wife since they relocated. I genuinely enjoy her company, and I know the transition has been harder for her since she doesn't have many friends here yet. That said, I'm starting to feel a little ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm looking to level up in my career, and I want to pursue a master's degree. I'm someone who does not want to accumulate too much debt, based on milestones that I see in my future. I have no issue with higher education, and I don't have much anxiety around the program itself; I am just more concerned about making sure I have ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm someone who keeps a very busy schedule. I thought I enjoyed being busy because that's what made my mind feel at ease. However, therapy and self-discovery have led me to realize I feel like I must stay busy because my mind does not feel comfortable being relaxed. Having a packed schedule is sustainable as a teenager, but the ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My great-aunt is in heart failure and was told she has less than a year to live. Growing up, we had an amazing relationship and she introduced me, as a little gay boy, to makeup and cosmetics; she would paint my nails and let me play with her makeup. I wrote my college entrance essay on her and how she helped me fall in love with...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are making the difficult decision to pull my daughter from private school and put her in public school. Our family simply can't afford it anymore because they keep hiking the price for tuition. My daughter is crushed about it because she's been going to this school for five years and all of her friends are here. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently applied for and interviewed for an internship in the city. I felt like the interview went well, and I was told I met the requirements and qualifications for the role. The company ended up going in a different direction, and I am at a loss. I normally get everything I want and apply for, and I have never faced rejection...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I've grown up, I've always tried to do my best whenever I can. I try not to limit myself with mediocrity and always push myself. This has been a main driver of my successful moments; however, it definitely impacts the way I treat myself in private. Although people see me as a high achiever, I find myself constantly critiquing ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just told me she's spent thousands of dollars on a matchmaker to help her with her love life. I can't seem to understand why she would do such a thing. My daughter is beautiful, smart and accomplished. I imagine she should be able to find love for free. When she told me about this, I could barely conceal my shock. I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always liked to experiment with sewing my own garments. In my culture, it is common for people to make their own clothes or at least be able to repair what they buy. As time goes on, skills like sewing have become more uncommon, especially here in the United States. However, developing these skills at such a young age ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be very pro-Black and pro-Black advancement. One of the ways I try to show my investment in my community is by buying and shopping Black. I specifically enjoy going to Black-owned establishments like bars and restaurants. I have a friend who sees this as an inconvenience and does not understand the importance...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I try to integrate my younger sister into my life as often as I can. Though we have a large age gap, she's graduated from college now, so it feels more appropriate to let her come out with me from time to time. She's known a lot of my close friends for a long time. That said, I may have given her the wrong impression by allowing ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's the 250th anniversary of our country, and I am so torn. In my lifetime, I have not felt more disconnected from my patriotism. I love my country -- don't get me wrong -- but I feel like we are terribly divided. The rift between the haves and have-nots is growing, and there seems to be a growing trend to annihilate people of ...Read more